The other day a guy told me: “You’re intimidating and look like you’re only into rich white guys.”
The other day a man followed me and cat-called me down the street till I yelled at him to stop.
The other day a guy felt my leg up multiple times on the subway. I glared at him, thinking this would get him to stop. I had to move to the opposite end of the subway holding back tears.
The other day a guy told me “You’re just a man hater,” after telling him my subway nightmare. “Why didn’t you just yell at him?” Oh, so it’s my fault?
These are just a few instances that have happened to me over the past month. This is not my whole life. This is not even the beginning of what I’ve gone through when it comes to being harassed by men.
Am I supposed to apologize for my confidence so guys can feel less intimated? Am I supposed to wear ugly conservative clothes so I don’t get cat-called down the street? Am I supposed to wear a paper bag over my face so I can’t smile at anyone who might take it in the wrong way? Oh that’s right – not just anyone, only rich white guys.
This is the world we live in. Men rule this world? Like how? This has gone on as long as mankind has recorded history. Women have always been subordinate to men. Why? This idea has created completely ridiculous stigmas.
- “Bitches” when we stand up for what we believe in
- “Stuck-up” when we wear fashion-conscious clothing
- “Sluts” when we date multiple people
- “Emotional” when we empathize with others around us
Men are high-fived when they date multiple women, they are are never criticized for getting angry or when they are the loud person in the room saying whatever the hell they want. I have amazing examples in my life of what a strong, caring man should be like, but it sucks when 85% of the rest of men are still the opposite of that.
This world is always afraid of change. I mean, I get it. When my favorite pants tore I cried a little. This is life though. It keeps moving. We have to keep moving, keep changing, keep evolving. And get new pants.
I’m not sure how to help change these stigmas and stop sexual harassment because it has to start with men themselves. I think I’ll start by wearing whatever I want and being whoever I want without anyone’s consent or judgement. I’ll continue to stand up for myself and those around me, and surround myself with the wonderful women and men in my life already.
It is still a man’s world, but I plan on changing that. Hope you do too.
Till next time,